Digest, Then Rest: What I’m Learning From This Autumn So Far
This week I texted an old friend, Julia, a yoga teacher, myofascial release therapist, and artist with genuinely magic hands, to book a massage. I ended up telling her everything from the last few months.
This year, I left, by choice, a long-standing, mostly wonderful role at the university. I lost a very important female relative. My elder son moved to New Zealand for at least a year. My younger son, my last baby, is now settled at university himself. For the first time in over thirty years, I am living alone.
Julia's reply came back by text, simple and direct:
"Oh, that's a lot. With autumn coming, it's time to digest. And then over winter, rest."
Here's what happened next, in my head, almost instantly:
But I can't take time off. Do you not realise I'm starting a new business? I've got so much to do. I want to get rid of the old and welcome in the new. I need to work on that. I need to start showing up in all these new places, because I'm taking my business to the next level.
I noticed it. I wrote it all down. Getting it out of my head and onto the page let me see what was emerging,
“I must work relentlessly, or it won't come’”
It isn't true. What's required is showing up consistently as myself, finding my people, and trusting the rest will follow. That isn't passive manifestation, I believe strongly that aligned action matters, that you have to do the work. But that doesn’t mean working at 200% to prove you're serious. It means listening to what you genuinely need.
Three Steps I’m taking:
1. Revisiting what's important.
Looking at what I want in my life, what my values are, and why. Then checking: are my actions, and the thoughts driving them, aligned with those values?
Am I pushing myself out of fear, or walking with free will?
2. A promise to myself.
To make the most of this genuinely rare opportunity to craft my own life, and to enjoy it. I was raised with a strong work ethic that said fun comes after the hard yards are done. I don't believe that anymore. I think we're capable of building a life that aligns with how we want to live, which doesn't mean things won't be hard sometimes, or that there won't be periods of real effort. I
I’'ve noticed, too, that being "the capable one," “the resilient one”, had quietly become part of my identity over the years. It solved a lot of other people's problems. It sometimes meant that my needs and goals were left behind.
Set your boundaries and uphold them.
3. The “needs creed”.
Something I return to constantly from my own coaching training: deciding what you need to keep you okay, not the extras, not the treats and rewards on top, the fundamentals. How much sleep. How much water. What kind of food. What kind of downtime. What kind of creative outlet. I can't hand you the answer to any of these, that's yours to find, in your own voice. But it's on us, especially as women, to articulate what we need, and then receive, without guilt.
Aligning with the season
So I'm following Julia's advice. I'm digesting what this year has held and aligning with what's already happening in the natural world around me. Nature has a lot to teach, if we let it: it's a time to reflect, to slow down. Not to do less, but to put effort in the right places, so that by the time winter arrives, I'll be able to rest. I've already started working out what rest means for me, while keeping my life and my business moving forward.
I'll keep you posted on how it goes.
If any of this resonates and you're curious about how I coach, how I use women’s archetypes to identify where your energy is currently being spent, and where it might need to shift, I'd love to talk it through with you with no obligations. Book a free discovery call, link above.
Simply a 30 minute space to get curious about where you are and where you’d like to be in the future.
If you'd rather start more quietly first, The Small Redesign is still there, free, whenever you want it.
